Miracle Technology Found, Solves All World’s Problems

Scientists Discover Wonder Element

It was announced late last night by a Swedish research team that a new wonder element has been discovered. The team says that this element, Unbelievium, can be used to generate large amounts of pollution-free energy, with it’s resulting by products being easily used to create carbon fiber, desalinated clean water, and hydrogen (which can be used again in fuel cells for more energy). It can be easily created by a combination of nearly anything and sea water, including most waste products – from carbon dioxide pulled from the atmosphere to random trash or nuclear waste.

Government’s around the world rejoiced, especially after the Nuclear disaster in Japan bringing to light the face that nuclear energy is not a safe or feasible source of energy. President Obama held a short press conference shortly there after saying that new power plants could be built easily and inexpensively. He went on further, saying,

“This breakthrough in technology presents a great opportunity for the world’s economy to continue to grow and bring prosperity to all. Swedish researchers have graciously agreed to release all their research data to the free peoples of the world. This new technology should be easily implemented and readily available to produce 100% of our energy within 10 years.”

Swedish researches say that this technology goes against all we thought we knew about thermodynamics. The first and second laws, which are generally present in everything we do and limit our ability to grow continually on a finite planet, seem to no longer apply to the process that creates Unbelievium. Some medical researchers in the US have even said that this element might even be used to treat some diseases, potentially extending life spans. Food technologists (yes, it’s a real job) working alongside the Swedish researchers say that this new element can condense nutritional aspects of food and even aid in the growing of our food too!

Further, it’s thought that Unbelievium can be used to turn just about anything into raw elements. The example given by researchers was “turning piles of dirty diapers into iron, through a fairly low-energy process using Unbelievium as a catalyst.”

Turns out, a finite planet can support an ever increasing material throughput –  we just needed to wait for technology to save us after all! Well, guess that’s it for this blog, I’ll have to go get a job as a stock broker or something. 😉

(Happy April Fools Day!)

Image Credit: Flickr Creative Commons.

1 thought on “Miracle Technology Found, Solves All World’s Problems”

  1. In a similarly optimistic vein (or should that be vain?), the problem of unemployment has been solved! See: “Thinking along the Right Lines”: Creating Jobs through Longer Workweeks and Later Retirement.

    ABSTRACT: One of the most frequently derided fallacies in economics is the idea that there is a limited amount of work that can be done. This implicit assumption, known to economists as the lump-of-labor fallacy, fosters “the illusion that shorter hours will reduce unemployment.” Curiously, though, in spite of perennial reference to the fallacy, there have been few attempts at articulating a counter-lump-of-labor job creation strategy. If it is an illusion that shorter hours or early retirement can reduce unemployment, why not create jobs by extending the workweek and prolonging working life?

    Continued at: http://ecologicalheadstand.blogspot.com/2011/04/thinking-along-right-lines-creating.html

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